I recently became enamored with Kitchen Nightmares, because Gordon Ramsay is legitimately hilarious, and working in IT I can identify with the feeling of “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” that Ramsay so pleasingly exhibits as he discovers the kitchens and the nightmares.

So, eventually that led me to the British version of Kitchen Nightmares, which just happens to be exponentially better than the American version.

How?  Same guy, same premise.  How could it be so different?  Bullet points!

• The music and sound effects that are used in American reality television are ridiculous and practically offensive.  All the dramatic posturing, stereotypical “whooshes” and ominous cues; it’s insulting.  The UK version has actual songs by actual bands, without dramatic wankery.
• The American version also has these terrible, trite visual cues, such as a plate being smashed when transitioning to commercial after a fight, or someone crushing a muffin under their feet, or something else equally silly and unnecessary.
• The show is narrated by Gordon himself, instead of some stupid typical guy going “you’ll NEVER guess what Gordon uncovers, after the break!”  Gordon is actually intelligent and well-spoken; why would you supersede that with a guy who should be on bad morning radio?

This isn’t the only example, however.  Shows in Britain are often much like this when compared to their American counterparts.  For a lack of better words, they act as if the audience has a functioning brain.

Oh, wait.  I get it now.

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